He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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