Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
