so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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