Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
how does that bad decision feel?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
