I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
