I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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