how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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