Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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