tell your sister to shave her snatch
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
