Kiss
Puke
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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