I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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