brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
