So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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