You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
