I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
