on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
