the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
