do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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