Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
