I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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