you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
