DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
When did angry sex become our thing?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
