I can't watch pbs sober anymore
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
