And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i will never coherently bang her
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize