We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
