yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
it's great music for shaving your balls
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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