I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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