If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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