I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just made my gag reflex go away.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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