The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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