You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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