don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im holly from the hills drunk
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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