dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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