My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
