I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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