I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
