Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
A+ Viking dick
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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