Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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