Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
