we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
