Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
