i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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