we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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