This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize