i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
