I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Randomize
