M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
