I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
