Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
even my farts smell like vagina
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
