can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
