Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
