just come out here and I will go home with you...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
one might say we're banned from that church
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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