i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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