Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
