Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
