Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
