Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
