Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
