whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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