mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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