On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
